Blog2023-12-12T18:17:58-08:00

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Fruitfly Prodigies

From within their earthen bell jar,

They have pierced the heavens,

And can now teach their children

The origins of the Universe.

Sadly, they have yet to apply their genius

To life inside the jar.

And when they have eaten or destroyed all,

They will die in droves

Just like their less evolved brethren.

By |December 12th, 2023|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Practice, practice, practice…

A friend shared an interesting TED talk by neuroscientist up in Vancouver, B.C. Her work in neuroplasticity is very inspiring in that it confirms that what we presume and work on so often in therapy in fact has a clear biological basis. In therapy there are often small assignments to try this or try that. They sometimes seem insignificant, easy to do for a moment, but tedious to continue doing over the course of a week or two. This research makes clear the value of keeping at it, even when it’s uncertain what the effects are yet. Here are some quotes from the talk…

“The primary driver of change in your brain is your behavior. Nothing is more effective than practice, and the bottom line is you have to do the work.

Your brain is tremendously plastic. It’s being shaped structurally and functionally by everything that you do, and everything that you don’t do.

Behaviors that you do in your everyday life are important. Each of them are changing your brain.

Repeat those behaviors that are healthy for your brain, and break those habits and behaviors that are not. Practice. Learning is about doing the work that your brain requires.”

So when you decide to try out a behavior, a thought, a new way of looking at things…be patient and persistent. Remember how all the folks got to Carnegie Hall!

Here’s the full talk:

By |March 7th, 2019|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Bar puzzles I’ve known and loved. What’s your model of the world?

Ever seen one of those wooden puzzles made up of various geometric shapes that, when put together just so, form a perfect sphere? Imagine that each piece is held to its neighbors by a thick band of elastic cord, so that this particular sphere wants to stay together.

That’s a pretty good analogy for one’s world view, for one’s assemblage of ideas and opinions. As the puzzle pieces are put together to form a particular whole, so our ideas, beliefs and impressions are combined in a particular way to form a model of life, a world view. And those ideas are also held together with a certain tension, the force and nature of which will greatly determine how we get along in the world.

If the tension is too loose, like a rubber band that’s lost its oomph, one’s world view will lose its coherency, ultimately its contact with reality. If the tension is too tight, one’s world view will tend towards rigidity, with no room for new ideas or learning. Finding one’s sweet spot in between these two is not easy, that state of holding a coherent summary of one’s experience, while at the same time, holding it loosely enough to make room for new experience to enter in and perhaps even rearrange or displace set ideas.

Thinking about our world view as a puzzle that we construct helps remind us that our world view is just that, a construction, i.e., a representation of reality, as opposed to reality itself. Attachment to our views as right and true creates a greater sense of coherency, but at the price of rigidity and illusion.  So while it is important to know our own mind, remembering that our assembly of ideas, however complex and deep, is but a model, a representation, a sliver of reality, a bar puzzle.

By |July 31st, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Retreat: v. To withdraw to a quiet or secluded place.

There’s a report of a study that’s gone a bit viral on the internet recently into how uncomfortable people get when left alone with themselves. The upshot is that a surprising number of people would rather get a painful electric shock than sit in an empty room for 15 min with nothing to do. As many have heard me say over the years, most of us shouldn’t be left alone with our brains very long–the results aren’t pretty.

What’s so hard about spending time simply with ourselves? Well, for one thing, when a person quiets down, he or she becomes aware of many things that have been pushed into the background, little aches and pains, to-do list items, unresolved feelings. For most people, what they call peace of mind depends on, is in fact synonymous with, being unaware. It is far easier to be either aware or apparently at ease, than it is to be both aware and truly at ease simultaneously. The problem is that it’s not possible to be truly happy without both of these together.

Take a person, say, who needs the TV on, or the radio, in order to fall asleep. Those sounds help keep the internal words and feelings at bay long enough for the deeper unconsciousness of sleep to take over. Turn the TV off, and awareness of what’s going on inside shoots up, and peace of mind drops like a stone. Think of what a cat and mouse game this is. One is constantly on the run, in avoidance of this or that thought or feeling or memory or worry, hiding in the distraction of outside noise. Tensions are bound to build up. It’s a game that ultimately can’t be won.

Most of those who need such aids to fall asleep are just aware enough to know they’re playing a precarious game, because they so often lose a turn at that game on one night or another. They wish for a better strategy, but what that really usually means is they wish for more proficient unawareness. What they actually need is a way to be with themselves as they are and find peace in that. That will offer a night’s rest that is peaceful indeed.

Retreat is the process by which we get to practice, off line so to speak, the art of both being aware and at ease in the same moment. It is a remarkable antidote to our usual habits. Retreats come in many shapes and sizes to suit our different tendencies. The form is not so important as long as the underlying principle is understood. Any form, be it meditation, yoga, or a beach house on the coast, can draw us into more awareness of ourselves or be used to hide from ourselves. The first is far more difficult, but also far more rewarding. The latter, though perhaps a pleasant relief in the moment, is like shoving one more notice from the bank about an overdrawn account into a drawer.

Find your form. Retreat toward yourself. If you persist, it is guaranteed you will like what you discover.

By |July 8th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments